There are many topics that I could talk about today. However, the only that has been on my mind the most has been this- that is, to write.
Writing is a double-edged sword for me, as my greatest talent and greatest fear are intertwined as the threads of a rope. This is my soul personified, my comfort as only the blanket from your childhood bed can touch your hidden places of insecurity and soothe them as well as a mothers touch. Yet in this, my insecurities take root and sprout into the forest of doubt that plagues my sanity and the haunts of the very dreams of which I pen.
One of my favorite short stories, The Lady and the Tiger by Frank Stockton, embodies the legacy that I fear. Frank Stockton was little known before crafting this masterpiece, his Mona Lisa. However, his rise to fame was also his downfall, as he would never again achieve the level of excellence that he set for himself, and the expectation of his adoring public went unanswered. He would never top himself after The Lady and the Tiger.
I came across this story in middle school, and while it helped to shape my imaginative process Stockton’s legacy has haunted me more.
It is a strange conundrum to be sure, that the very thing that I take the most pleasure in, for which I have been called to and would like to be known is exactly what would keep me from striving to achieve said dream in the first place.
To fear ones own self- how peculiar.
Or rather, to fear the applause of others could be my greatest weakness, my own Achilles heel. I use Greek mythology as their gods were said to be capricious and fickle in nature, ruining the lives of mortals out of thoughtlessness while trying to satisfy their narcissistic ever-changing desires.
This is the plague of the public eye. This modern day idol places the happiness and success of any particular life and places it in the hands of those who exist to consume, captivated by their own beauty and selfish wants and too far gone to appreciate true art or craftsmanship for more than half of a minute.
This is why I am thankful for a God who crafted me. Were it not for God’s presence in my life I would be offering myself, my soul encompassed in my writing, to a gluttonous audience that screams for the blood of the next trend. More, more, more, they demand- more Ice Bucket Challenges, Let It Go covers, more asinine commentary on Taylor Swift’s new music video- this jungle is hard to navigate for anyone.
However My God has declared for me a purpose, a destiny if you will, and sings over me the words of love carved out of his hands that speak the identity of my soul. I long for the overflow of his love and creativity pouring out through my life, the ink of my pen, and the keys under my fingertips.
If God has called you to a glorious purpose, and I believe that he does for all of his children, then be encouraged. The fear of being enough haunts us all, yet God has proven himself to be not only enough, but far beyond that that we need not worry. Do what he has crafted you for, to the best that you can, and he will take care of the rest. Don’t let the idol of pleasing others keep you from or inspire you to your part. Let God inspire you, lovelies. He is capable of so much more than you or I.
significantsentences 